Once upon a time, Douglas Coupland used to be my favourite author. Girlfriend in a Coma is still a book I recommend to everyone. Hey Nostradamus had me in tears at the end (and I'm in tears now because I lent my hard cover copy to someone and never got it back).

In first year English, I had to read a Canadian novel called The Wars by Timothy Findley. I hated it.
Then in Utopian Fiction a year later, I had to read The Butterfly Plague by Timothy Findley. I thought I would hate it so I bought the worst and most beat up copy of it I could find.
It was a difficult read but I loved it! I felt bad that I had purchased such a ragged paperback copy of such a lovely book. I'm hoping someone will buy a hardcover and maybe even a signed hardcover for me for my birthday. I've decided to collect all his fiction and the poor ragged copy looks so sad next to some of the others. (9 down, 3 to go!)

That summer I picked up used copied of Famous Last Words and The Telling of Lies. A year later, I picked up a gorgeous gilded hard-cover copy of The Piano Man's Daughter. Somehow, I ended up reading some of his most difficult books first. They jumped around in time and were dense narratives.

But I enjoyed them.

Spade Work was the first one of Findley's that I read where the plot didn't jump around in time. It was just lovely; a simple tale set in Stratford Ontario among theatre folk.

This summer, I picked up Pilgrim and Not Wanted on the Voyage.
I cannot recommend Pilgrim more. I am amazed at the imagination that Findley had. He weaves history seamlessly into his fiction and it's brilliant. I am amazed.

Please read some great [Canadian] fiction and pick up some Timothy Findley. Dan Brown hasn't got anything on the amount of research Findley must have done for some of his novels.

Sometimes, love sneaks up on you.
When my nephew was born 2 and a half years ago, I lived 5 hours away from my family. I didn't get to meet him for a couple weeks. When I finally got home and saw him for the first time, I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed with love for the tiny baby who was put into my arms. He was a little human who pretty much slept all the time and yet I knew I loved him more than I could explain.
That love was unexpected. But how he's grown to love me is even more so surprising to me.
He just adores my mother and father his Oma and Opa. He's adored them since the beginning. But in the last several months, I've been the recipient of the most wonderful greetings in the world. When I come into a room where he is or he arrives at our place he shouts out "Tante!!" and starts to bounce up and down as he runs to me and gives me a big hug.
I don't know what I did to deserve this. Maybe it was the time when I 'bounced like Tigger' with him for a good half hour. Whatever the reason, I'm loving this stage where he loves me so much.
The new baby is due in a week or so and I'm excited to see him too.

With my Art Teacher, love came very unexpected and, just as with my nephew, I wonder, what I did to deserve it!
Before I met him, I'd kind of resigned myself to being alone for a long time. Sure, I was putting effort into "finding someone" but I didn't really think it would pay off. And further, I wondered, what a man would love about me and how would that feel.
It always surprises me when he tells me how much he loves me and how I'm the best thing that has happened to him. I feel the same way about him but it's still just so unexpected for me. It always catches me off guard.

Given how love has shown up so unexpectedly in my life, sometimes I feel like it's not fair. Why me off all my single friends? What did I do to deserve this? [Nothing. It's the way things roll.]
There are many wonderful single women I know in real life and from Xangaland. I don't want to become one of those annoying no-longer-single girls who just chirps about how sweet love is. And I won't say "It will come when you're no longer looking" If I wasn't looking, I'd have never found him.

What I do know is that it will come. And, until then, rest in the other love in your life: family, friends, the Creator. But be ready, because it might blow you away.

Thanks for the best wishes re: the echocardiogram. It was was very cool to lie there and watch my heart beating away. It looked pretty healthy to me. But I received a call earlier this week that the doctor wants to go over the results with me. I find out tonight what the verdict is.

And FYI- this is the Canadian medical system that is being slandered in certain USA press. I waited less than 2 weeks between my physical and the test and less than a week to go back and see her.
Sure, our system has it's problems but man, some of the coverage I've seen on the major news outlets! How can these people call themselves journalists when they don't even do any research into the stories they present.

But that's not what I came here to write about.

See, I just found out my brother is being sent to Afghanistan. He's wanted to go for a while. I think he's crazy to do so. I've told him this.

 And now he's going. But he's going not as a weapons tech, like he's been training to do, but as a truck driver.

The truck drivers who are constantly hitting roadside bombs.



I can't imagine what it will be like for him. What's he going to be like when he gets back?

And maybe you'll think I'm being selfish, but I can't imagine what it's going to be like for us back here; for me in the studio reading reports of another Canadian soldier dying and wondering if it's my brother. I already have to choke back tears when I hear the reports.

The other day, on air, I mentioned something about the war. It was a poll that said that over 50% of Canadians want us to go back to just peacekeeping missions. I aired a call from someone who said "Civilians shouldn't have an opinion since they don't know what's going on".

She said exactly that.

I aired another call from a Vet who said "Sure people should have opinions because we fought so people could have opinions...[....] but if you really shouldn't say anything unless you're part of it and know what's going on."

My co-worker, who has the show after me, comes on air with me for a short blurb as I pass the show to him. The next day we brought up the idea of civilians not having an opinion because they don't know what's going on. We said, of course, that everyone should have an opinion and you can't expect them not to.

Well, I came into work the next day to find a scathing email from the first lady whose call I aired. She was accusing me of misrepresenting her, of being one sided [even though aired her call?] telling me I was naive to think that peace-keeping was safe (which I never said) telling me that saying anything negative about the war gets back to the soldiers and how could I think it wouldn't [even though I never said anything "negative"]; that "people in the military not to mention plain old family and friends are very sensitive to the issue" etc etc etc. 

I was floored! This woman was projecting thoughts and feelings and words on me that I never once said.
My best friend told me that, because I'm in the media, some people might just project the overall media feeling onto me, whether or not that's my stance.

But here are my true feelings: I think it's a war we can never 'win'. We're losing of friends and family in a war that we joined as part of some great Western Bravado. We're doing some good, but I wonder how much an outside force can go into a country and change it. Can we really force our version of democracy on a country that's used to something else.

Look, the Taliban are evil. They are archaic bastards who have serious mental issues that they think it's ok to blow up their fellow citizens; that it's ok to treat women like garbage. They are insecure losers.

And sure, I'd like to wipe them off the face of the planet too but I don't think that's logistically possible. 

My bestfriend said this "Maybe talking about the war and debating its merits is more respectful to the soldiers. Because otherwise, we're just leaving them there and not knowing what they're dying for."

I agree. I just can't say any of this on air because it's not a talk show.

We're going to see my brother and his fiance for Thanksgiving weekend (it's this weekend for us Canucks). After this weekend he goes on all his training then is shipped out in December or January.

You know, there's a possiblity I could never see him again. God forbid. God keep him safe. I beg you.